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The idiot loses again

Bled and bled again,
o~ruptured heart,
it felt like ecstasy,
I enjoy it, yet at the same time,
a burning, stinging pain unlike anything I've ever felt,
why, there's nothing to be afraid of,
let's tear another hole into the heart,
isn't that what you've always wished for?

Love, dreams, happiness,
what else do I have to lose,
crushed, severed, bled, broken and lost,
I've cursed myself, the creator, fate, destiny, anything I could think of,
yet nothing changed,
still bleeding,
I accepted the truth like a sore loser,
and continued dreaming...

To dream or to accept reality,
accepting reality, and then?
To kill, or to curse?
Which is it? Slowly but painful?
Epic fairy tale? Something impossible to happen?
Even if I accept reality I'll continue dreaming,
it's easier to dream anyway, so I'll just continue sleeping.

Only the soul left intact,
inside the thorny little vessel,
when is the next game? Will it ever come?
This time, I'll bet my humanity,
agony, wrath, delusion, confusion,
to hell with that...I'll just continue sleeping,
wake me up when the nightmare comes,
I'd already thrown my humanity by then,
and so, the vicious cycle repeats,
a man in delusion,
an idiot in confusion,
loses again...


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